


Is It Possible To Protect Everyone?

by DedicatedDetectives



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Multi, hints of rolivia, just Sonny pining, no established relationships, this is just everyone pining and everyone thinking they're just bros, truthfully have no idea how to tag this lmao, warning for mature language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:33:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23488390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DedicatedDetectives/pseuds/DedicatedDetectives
Summary: Sonny talks to Amanda about his Rafael-related feelings after Olivia and Rafael's video call. It progresses from there.
Relationships: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Amanda Rollins, Olivia Benson/Amanda Rollins, Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Rafael Barba/Olivia Benson
Comments: 16
Kudos: 46





	1. The Video Call

**Author's Note:**

> There sure are a lot of feelings flying around for one little squad. 
> 
> Yes, I headcanon that Amanda knows. Amanda's there for Sonny, and he wants to be there for her, too. It's just all a little complicated.
> 
> I want to add another chapter to this, if possible. I have so many WIPs, and for what? But I do like this idea a lot.
> 
> I do not own any of characters; they belong to the lovely SVU writers.
> 
> Please let me know what you think!!

Amanda’s head snapped up when she saw Sonny stride into the precinct. 

“Carisi!” she nearly shouted, standing up from her desk. 

“What’s up, Rollins?” He asked, but didn’t appear to slow his gate.

“Whatcha doing?” she asked, even though she was pretty sure where he was headed.

“Lieu asked me to stop by,” he said, still walking just as quickly towards her office.

“She’s on the phone.” Rollins physically stepped in front of him, and he finally slowed. 

“Oh. She asked me to come by. That’s strange,” he said, glancing down at his watch.

“Unexpected call.” She forced a smile.

“What’s up with you, Rollins?” he asked, brow furrowed. 

“I’m good.” Same forced smile.

“Yeah, okay,” he shrugged off, clearly disbelieving. “I’ll just pop my head in there real quick.”

“Sonny, don’t,” Amanda conceded. “She’s talking to Barba.”

Sonny stopped in his tracks. “Oh.”

Amanda looked at him, hoping she was masking her own feelings. “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be,” he said. “That’s great.”

She continued to look at him.

“That’s just fucking great.” He paced in front of her desk.

“I’m sorry, Sonny. Look, maybe he has a reason.”

“Yeah, I’m sure he had a great fucking reason for leaving without so much as a word to me,” he said, and Amanda gave him a sad smile. “After _years_.”

“Look, fuck him, okay?” Amanda whispered forcefully. “Come over tonight. We’ll have drinks. It’s been a while since we’ve gotten drunk together. We’re due for a fun night, yeah?”

Sonny leaned against the edge of her desk, but he didn’t look at her. His eyes were fixed on the closed blinds of Olivia’s office. “Yeah, okay.”

“Great,” Amanda said, smiling and placing a hand on his shoulder. 

His eyes didn’t move from the wall of windows. “Look, Rollins. I think I need some air.” He glanced at her. “Can you tell Liv something came up, when she _hangs up_?” 

That last part was said bitterly, but Amanda just smiled. “Course.”

She watched Carisi stride back to the elevator. Once he was out of sight, she looked back at Olivia’s office, rolling her eyes. “Fucking Barba,” she muttered under her breath before sitting back down and trying to get back to work. Thank goodness Fin and Kat were out on a case. She didn’t want to have to explain all this.

\--

“Did a tally on my apartment. I have one bottle of wine, and a shit ton of beer.”

Sonny smiled as he checked his text messages while walking out of his office.

“Didn’t clock you as a wine drinker,” Sonny wrote back. In another message, “Cool if I come by now?” He glanced at his watch. It was probably right around the girls’ bedtime. 

“Gimme 20,” Amanda replied.

“See ya soon.”

It’s only about a 10 minute ride from the DAs office to Amanda’s place, so Sonny decided to spend his few extra minutes wandering around a nearby store. He hopped in a cab and gave the guy Amanda’s address.

\--

“Coming!” Amanda shouted before opening the door and stepping aside to let Sonny in.

“I come bearing gifts,” Sonny announced as he slid by Amanda, depositing his brown paper bags on her counter. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed, sounding a bit proud. “I got the good shit,” he said, pulling items out as he spoke. 

“Cannolis, because duh. Chocolate peanut butter ice cream for me. Peaches n cream for you. Because I know us.” He set down the cartons, surely more than the two of them could eat that night. “And don’t even think about giving me shit for this,” he said, placing strawberry Seagram’s on the counter. “I like beer as much as the next guy, but even I’m not as much of a dude as you are when it comes to the stuff.”

“Shut up,” Amanda laughed. “You’re right. You got the good shit. Wasn’t this supposed to be _me_ cheering _you_ up?”

“Nah, I wanted to,” he said. “C’mon.”

They sat down on the couch, shoulder to shoulder.

“Cheers,” Sonny said, and they clinked their beer bottles together. “To, uh, getting smashed?”

“Hell yeah,” Amanda laughed.

The two caught up over drinks and sweets, before switching to listening to some music. They were definitely well on their way to their goal, laughing, singing and dancing in their seats.

At one point, Sonny took a swig of his Seagram’s and sighed. “Rollins, this has been such a fun night. And to think this started out because I was upset.”

“I swear to God Sonny, if you don’t quit calling me Rollins. You’ve been doing this ever since you switched over to the DAs office! What the fuck!”

“Sorry,” Sonny chuckled. “They’re different over there.” He paused and added dramatically, “Sorry, _Amanda_.”

“Yeah, whatever,” but she looked at him in a way that said all is well.

“You know, I really didn’t mean to let you down as a partner,” Sonny said, looking at Amanda sweetly. “I’m sorry that I didn’t talk to you about that transition more.”

“No, it’s okay,” Amanda shook her head. “I was such an asshole. I’m so sorry. I was just scared that I was losing you.”

“Nah, that won’t happen.” Sonny smiled. “Now I’m just a different kind of pain in your ass.” 

Both of them laughed. “And me yours,” Amanda said. “But you’re worse.”

“What!” Sonny shoved her shoulder jokingly. 

“Yeah! Because you won’t call me by my fucking name!”

Sonny raised his hands in proclamation of innocence. He chuckled, then he looked down. 

“You ever seen that movie?” Sonny asked, eyes glancing up before they dropped back down.

“What movie?” Amanda asked, looking perplexed. 

“Call Me by Your Name.”

“Uh, no,” Amanda said cautiously, still looking confused.

“It’s about a young guy who falls for one of his dad’s assistants. The one guy’s 17. The other guy is 24. Doesn’t seem like that big of an age difference, but. They’re in two totally different worlds.”

Amanda looked at Sonny. “Yeah?”

“Makes me wonder, you know,” Sonny continued. “How from one view, people can be perfect for one another. And from another.. Just totally different worlds.”

“I miss him, Amanda,” Sonny whispered as he glanced up at Amanda sadly.

Amanda gave him a sad smile. “I know.” She paused. “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” he said. “Thanks.”

They both paused. “He handled leaving real shitty,” Sonny said.

“You could say that again,” Amanda huffed. She hated seeing how hurt Sonny was.

“I just don’t get it.” There was another long pause. “How did you know Liv was talking to him?”

“I was in there with her when he called.”

“How’d you know it was him?”

Amanda paused. “Video call.”

“Fuck,” Sonny whined. “How did he look?”

“Horrible,” Amanda smiled. 

“Yeah right,” Sonny chuckled lightly. “What did he say?”

“I’m not really sure,” Amanda said, but she was sure Sonny saw straight through her.

“No, c’mon. Tell me.”

Amanda glanced down. “All I heard before I left was that he said he’d be back in a few months.”

Sonny’s eyes met hers. “And?”

Amanda shrugged.

“No. Tell me.”

“He said he’ll take her to dinner.”

“Oh, fucking hell,” Sonny dropped his head into his hands.

“I know, Sonny. But they were friends a really long time.”

“And we weren’t?” Sonny paused. “I never had a chance.”

Amanda reached out to place her hand on his shoulder again. 

“I really thought. I really, honestly thought I did.” He looked up again. “What was I thinking?”

“Sonny, he would be so fucking lucky to have you.”

“Tell him that.”

“I know,” Amanda said sadly, dropping her arm. “It sucks, and I’m sorry.”

“I appreciate it, Rollins. But you don’t know.” He chuckled lightly. “And you’re lucky you don’t.”

“Eh,” Amanda glanced down. “I’ve had my fair share of rejections.”

Sonny reached out to her shoulder now, smiling sadly.

“I promise I hate it as much as you do,” Amanda looked serious. “And I’m here for you.”

Sonny looked at her appreciatively. “Well shit. Another drink?”

“Please.”

“Break out that wine?” Sonny raised his eyebrows.

“Sure.” Amanda walked over briefly before coming back with the bottle and two glasses.

“Let’s get back to having fun, right?” Sonny asked.

“Yeah,” Amanda smiled, clinking their glasses together.

“Mm,” Sonny hummed. “This is really good. What are _you_ doing with this shit?”

“It’s Liv’s favorite,” Amanda smiled slightly. “Trust me, I’m no wine connoisseur.” 

“Yeah?” Sonny said. “This impress her the last time she was here?”

Amanda didn’t answer. Instead, she chuckled sort of sarcastically and shrugged. Then she glanced down at her glass.

“Oh, shit.”

Amanda glanced back up. “Hm?”

“I didn’t realize.”

“No, I mean. There’s nothing to realize,” Amanda shook her head.

“Amanda, you’ve always been here for me with Rafael,” Sonny said carefully.

“Yeah, of course,” Amanda said quickly. “But this.. is nothing. Don’t worry about it, Sonny. Okay? There’s nothing to worry about, and I’m fine.” She stood up quickly. “I’m getting another beer. Want one?”

“Yeah,” Sonny agreed, taking the hint.

The rest of the night went on as smoothly as it had started, the two drinking and chatting about nothing. Eventually, Amanda ended up with her head on Sonny’s shoulder, dozing off. He leaned his head softly onto hers, sighing and closing his eyes.


	2. The Text Message

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Olivia gets a text message. Sonny gets an invitation. Amanda gets a pain in her ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, y'all. Not sure how I got another chapter done so quickly, but here it is :D  
> (I apologize for any potential errors due to this quick turn-around).
> 
> I obviously headcanon that Sonny and Amanda both swear like sailors.
> 
> This chapter is sort of a set-up for some future stuff, but I still think it flows pretty well!
> 
> As always, I do not own any of these characters; they belong to the lovely SVU writers.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has left comments and kudos so far. I appreciate it very much <3  
> I hope you enjoy!

“Momma?”

Sonny startled awake at the sound of a young, high-pitched voice. He felt Amanda do the same next to him.

“Morning, sweetheart,” Amanda quickly replied, scooting a few inches away from Sonny and reaching her arms out to Jesse, who immediately accepted the hug.

“Why were you sleeping out here?” Jesse asked.

“It was an accident, baby. I bet you would fall asleep out here, too, without me being there to tuck you into bed.” Amanda poked Jesse’s stomach playfully.

“Yeah,” Jesse laughed.

“Oh, shoot,” Sonny mumbled, looking down at his watch. He looked up with a smile. “Jesse, Amanda, I have to go.”

“Where ya headed?” Amanda asked, following his lead and standing up from the couch.

“My meeting with the Lieu,” Sonny said. “This is when she rescheduled it for, after, uh, yesterday.”

“Good luck,” Amanda smiled. “Jesse, say bye to Uncle Sonny.”

“Bye!” Jesse shouted, and Sonny laughed.

“See ya soon, kiddo.” He closed the door behind him.

\--

Sonny was nursing a pretty decent headache by the time he reached the precinct, opting for a change of clothes and a shower over a cup of coffee. He rubbed at his forehead, still feeling like he’d rather not talk to Olivia. He didn’t care if it was petty. He deserved a few moments to be petty, damnit.

He knocked softly on the door frame before stepping into Olivia’s office.

“Morning, Lieu,” Sonny said, pretty sure he was masking both the headache and the irritation he was feeling.

“Counselor,” Olivia smiled. “How are you?”

“Doing okay,” Sonny said. “You wanted to see me about the case?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to talk some stuff out,” she said, opening the case file on her desk. Her phone chimed then, and she glanced down at it.

“Sorry,” she muttered, before a smile spread across her face. She chuckled lightly before looking up at Sonny.

“Sorry,” she said again. “I talked to Barba yesterday. He’s in Iowa. He wasn’t supposed to be home for a few months, but he just said he’ll be home this weekend.”

“Oh yeah?” Sonny asked, feeling his headache worsen. Her phone chimed two more times.

“Crazy,” Olivia chuckled, still looking at her phone and clearly thrilled. “Probably just a brief visit.”

“That’s nice,” Sonny said, feeling like it definitely wasn’t.

“Yeah,” Olivia said, locking her phone and looking back up. “You know, Carisi, we were planning to go to dinner when he came back. I bet Barba would like to see you.”

 _Does a pretty shit job of showing it,_ Sonny thought. 

“Join us?” Olivia asked with a smile.

The offer was an arguably nice one. Olivia hadn’t seen him in quite a while. But all Sonny could think was _You’re gonna have to say something._ His head was swimming with thoughts of seeing Rafael again. _How did no one see anything wrong with what he did besides me and Amanda? Maybe he doesn’t even want to see me. Olivia is just being polite. God, I want to see him. I shouldn’t. I should be mad. But, God, seeing that smile again? Getting to be close to him?_

He realized he was still just looking at Olivia. “Sorry, uh, just thinking about what I have going on this weekend.”

“No worries,” Olivia said, not seeming to notice Sonny’s distraction. She seemed distracted herself, checking her phone again.

Sonny couldn’t decide what to say next. He couldn’t pass this offer up, could he? He _should_ , but could he?

“I would like to go, but I don’t want to impose,” he said.

“Not at all,” Olivia said, glancing up from her phone again.

_What am I doing? I’m going to have to see them together at the same table as me. God damnit._

“Is it okay if I bring a plus-one?” Sonny blurted.

“Of course,” Olivia smiled, curious. “Have someone to introduce to us, Carisi?”

Sonny just laughed. “So, your question about the case.”

“Right,” Olivia said, back to business.

\--

“Free tonight? I’ll cook,” Sonny texted Amanda.

“For food? Obviously,” Amanda responded.

“Great. 7?”

“Sounds good. Any particular reason you’re being so nice? I still have ice cream to eat, courtesy of you.”

_Yes._

“Just a nice guy, I guess.”

_Not._

“Mhm.. I’ll still accept the food.”

“I’m sure you will.”

\--

“Alright, girls, who likes spaghetti and meatballs?”

“Meee!” Jesse said excitedly, quickly finding her spot at the table. “You too, Momma?”

“Of course!” Amanda said. “Can you thank Uncle Sonny, girls?”

“Thank you!” Jesse squealed.

“You’re very welcome, darlin'."

They all agreed it was good, because of course it was.

\--

Once the girls were tucked into bed, Amanda and Sonny settled onto the couch with their cartons of ice cream.

“Thanks again for dinner,” Amanda said. “And dessert.”

“No problem,” Sonny said around a big bite of ice cream, then another. 

_Stress eating? I’m not stress eating._

“Thanks again for last night,” Sonny said. “I had a horrible headache this morning during my meeting with Lieu, but that’s okay.”

“Worth it,” Amanda chuckled. “I had one too, but luckily I was just on call. Didn’t have to go in all day.”

“Ugh, lucky.”

“How was your meeting with Liv?” Amanda asked, taking a spoonful of ice cream herself.

“Not bad,” Sonny said. “Pretty straightforward.”

“Yeah? That’s good.”

They both ate some ice cream.

“Okay, I lied,” Sonny said. 

“Yeah? That why you came over here to cook?”

“Can’t I just be a nice guy?”

“You can be a nice guy and also need saving from the big, bad lieutenant,” Amanda teased.

“Okay, that’s not it,” Sonny huffed. “But I do have something to tell you.”

“Okay..” Amanda sounded worried.

“It’s not about you,” Sonny assured her, and he watched the tension physically leave her shoulders.

“Didn’t think it was,” Amanda said, sounding nonchalant, even though Sonny knew that wasn’t the case. Really, he couldn’t blame her. It was only yesterday that he had taken a guess and tried to pull any of that out of her.

He glanced at her, but decided not to comment. “Rafael texted Olivia while I was in her office.”

Amanda looked over at Sonny cautiously, not wanting to overreact too close to the beginning of the story. After last night, and dinner tonight, she was prepared for something pretty bad.

“Yeah?”

“He, uh,” Sonny looked down at his ice cream. “He’s coming back this weekend.”

“To New York?” Amanda asked, despite the answer being obvious. “When I was in there, he told Liv ‘a few months.’”

“Yeah, well. He’s coming back, I guess.”

“Well, the odds of you seeing him are super low, Sonny. So don’t worry about that.”

Sonny didn’t answer.

“What?”

“About that,” Sonny said. “Lieu, uh, invited me to dinner with them.”

“Really?” Amanda sounded surprised now. “What did you say?”

“Well, when she asked, I started thinking all about seeing Rafael again. I started panicking, trying to decide if I was pissed enough to not go or still, you know, weak enough to want to just see him again.”

“Mhm,” Amanda hummed. “And?”

“I said yes,” Sonny sighed. “She said I wouldn’t be imposing, but I don’t know.”

“It was her choice to invite you,” Amanda said. 

“Yeah,” Sonny paused. “She said she thinks Barba wants to see me.”

“Mm.”

“Doubt that. Hasn’t done anything to show it, anyway.”

“Well, I can help you prepare for it,” Amanda said, trying to make eye contact with Sonny.

“I appreciate that,” Sonny said. “But, uh, there’s something else.”

“Sonny,” Amanda said in a warning tone. “I am not going and crashing their dinner.”

“I’m not asking you to,” Sonny said. He looked at her nervously. “Mainly.. because I told her I wanted to bring a date.”

“A date? Like a _date_ date? What the hell did you do that for?”

“I don’t know,” Sonny groaned. “I panicked.”

“So she thinks you’re bringing, like, a girlfriend or something?”

“It was kinda implied.”

Amanda looked at him like she couldn’t believe it.

“Amanda, I panicked. Please come with me.”

“What? No!”

“C’mon, please! I don’t know who else to bring.”

“That’s so flattering,” Amanda remarked.

“They think I’m gonna introduce them to someone new,” Sonny sighed. “I can’t bring a girl on a first date to a dinner with the man I have feelings for. You’re my only girl friend. Please, Amanda.”

“I don’t want to do that,” Amanda sighed, running a hand through her hair. 

“Is that because of Olivia?” He said it in an innocent enough tone, but he knew this was a low move. But he really, really needed a date.

“No,” Amanda quickly replied. “It’s because of Rafael. I thought we didn’t even like the guy anymore.”

“I never said that. If anyone doesn’t like him, it’s you, Rollins.”

“Really? You’re gonna do that to me now?” Amanda asked, clearly exasperated. “Maybe I don’t like him. He hurt you, and you’re my best friend.”

Feeling bad for ignoring that sweet admission didn’t do anything to stop him from saying what he did next.

“And he likes Olivia,” Sonny said plainly.

“That has nothing to do with it,” she dismissed, glancing away.

“Yeah? If you can tell me one good reason why you don’t want to go that doesn’t involve protecting my feelings, then I won’t make you go.”

“Someone should protect your feelings, Sonny! I’m sorry I’m the only one doing it!”

“I know I’m being an asshole,” Sonny admitted, “but please, Amanda. I need you.”

“Yeah, you know what. You are being an asshole, Sonny!” Amanda said, her irritation clear. “And I’ll give you a reason! It’s going to be awkward as hell!”

“I’ll make it up to you,” Sonny pleaded.

“Fine, Sonny,” she said, and he threw his arms around her in a hug.

“Yeah, whatever,” she muttered, her mind already spinning with the seemingly endless list of bad scenarios this meal could land her in. “You’re paying for my sitter, though. And my dinner, for that matter, if you’re making me pretend to be your girlfriend.”


	3. The Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The much-awaited double date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There has been a bit of a wait for this, but I really enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> I (short person) spent some time hugging my girlfriend (tall person) to really figure some stuff out.
> 
> I do not own any of these characters; they belong to the lovely SVU writers.
> 
> Please let me know if you enjoy! More coming in the future.

Amanda looked up at Sonny as he walked through the door of the restaurant Olivia chose. Their gazes met, and she downed her shot.

“Hey,” Sonny grumbled, walking over to meet her at the bar and making eye contact with the bartender. “I’ll have what she’s having. Because now I have to catch up.”

“Can you blame me?” Amanda muttered.

“Nervous?” Sonny answered, smirking at her all the while. 

“I swear to God, Sonny, if you bring anything up, I will leave right—”

“Okay.” Sonny made a motion as if he was zipping his lips shut, then promptly opened them again to take his shot.

“Another round,” Sonny flagged down the bartender. “On me.”

Amanda smiled appreciatively before throwing back another gulp of the bitter liquid.

“Thanks again for coming, Amanda. I owe you big time,” Sonny looked at her with a smile. “You look nice.” 

Amanda’s hair hung loosely curled, and her natural-looking makeup was a little fancier than normal, her eyeliner winged and her eyeshadow shimmery. She glanced down the expanse of Sonny’s torso. Dark blue suited the tall man opposite her. “You look good, too,” she said, and Sonny tried his best not to smirk at her again. Two shots in and she already looked like she was feeling it, not that he would ever say it.

“Oh, shit,” Sonny murmured as he glanced down at his phone. “Olivia says they’re almost here.”

“Great,” Amanda said, tone dry. “They’re coming together.” 

Sonny looked at her, brows furrowed. She was not allowed to be more affected by all this than him. His stomach fluttered with nerves.

“One more round,” he announced.

He and Amanda looked at each other, smiling but clearly nervous.

“Listen, this is gonna be okay. It’ll go fine,” Amanda said, tone low. “Okay?”

Sonny nodded but didn’t say anything.

“Cheers to a not horrible double date,” she announced.

“Flattering,” Sonny said, rolling his eyes.

The two clinked their shot glasses together and on the bar before downing them.

Three shots in and the two of them on the way. What could go wrong?

Amanda looked up and saw Rafael and Olivia walk in the door. She never mentioned to Sonny that Rafael grew a beard, and she suddenly regretted that omission. Sonny looked like a deer in headlights. He licked his lips. 

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay,” Amanda put her hand on his bicep and squeezed. It seemed to bring him back to reality a bit. “You need to smile now, Sonny.” He did.

“Look alive,” she whispered as they walked over to the lobby to greet Olivia and Rafael.

Amanda looked at Olivia and hoped her smile didn’t seem too forced. 

“Amanda,” Olivia said in a sing-song tone, opening her arms. Amanda kept her smile in place as she walked into Olivia’s embrace. She pulled back quickly, anxious about how Sonny’s reunion with Rafael was going to go. 

Sonny was looking at Rafael with one of the shyest smiles Amanda had ever seen. _Oh boy._ He reached his hand out for a handshake, but Rafael didn’t return the motion. 

He reached a hand up to Sonny’s shoulder and literally pulled him down into a hug. Sonny stood tense for a second, but Rafael didn’t pull back. Sonny relaxed a bit, and his head was close to dropping onto Rafael’s shoulder before Rafael pulled back, smiling at him. Despite his best efforts, Sonny’s cheeks were pink.

Amanda wanted to cringe. The odds of this going well were decreasing by the second.

She stepped forward and placed her hand on the small of Sonny’s back. It seemed to ground him a bit, and he motioned toward Amanda. 

“My plus-one,” he announced, smiling at Amanda then Olivia as he did it. 

“That’s great guys, really,” Olivia smiled.

Amanda watched Rafael look between the two of them, tight-lipped smile in place. Olivia might be the detective, but Rafael looked like he was going to need some convincing.

The four of them were led to a table, and Sonny pulled a chair out for Amanda. He looked up and his gaze met Rafael’s while he was doing the same for Olivia. Amanda smiled at Sonny and whispered a “Thanks,” which brought his gaze back to hers.

Soon after, the waitress appeared, asking about drink orders. Amanda smiled as she ordered a glass of Olivia’s favorite red wine.

“Actually,” Rafael said with a smile, “let’s get a bottle for the table?”

Sonny looked at Amanda and smiled. “Great,” he said, but she knew from his tight smile that he was telling her to be careful. 

“Water for us as well, please,” Sonny rushed out before the waitress nodded and walked away. He was starting to feel the alcohol, and he was sure Amanda was feeling it too.

The waitress returned, pouring everyone a glass of red as everyone at the table glanced around smiling.

Amanda and Sonny took gulps of the wine almost in tandem. 

“This is delicious,” Olivia said, putting her glass back down. “Great idea, Amanda.”

Amanda smiled around another sip. Sonny glanced nervously at her glass and then his own. His was low enough that he decided to put it down, but he knew he couldn’t subtly urge Amanda to do the same. Turns out he didn’t have to.

“You guys need to take the edge off?” Olivia asked, slight smirk on her face. 

Amanda quickly deposited her glass, cheeks turning a light shade of pink. Her and Sonny both chuckled, glancing at each other. Sonny reached over and put his hand on Amanda’s thigh, hoping a little intimacy might make them seem a little more normal. Amanda jumped. _Oh, God._

“You okay?” he asked her, brows furrowed.

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” Amanda looked at him and then the others. “This is just new, you know? This whole dynamic.”

“No worries,” Sonny and Olivia said nearly in synch. Amanda gave them both a weak smile.

_Again: Oh boy._

Much to Sonny’s relief, the waitress appeared again, taking the attention off of Amanda. She asked Olivia and Rafael what they wanted first, and the two were reading one of the menu items as the waitress patiently waited.

“Have you decided what you want, hon?” Sonny said softly, causing Rafael’s eyes to jerk up from the menu Olivia was murmuring about. Amanda smiled. “Think so.”

“Rafa?” Olivia asked, causing Sonny to look up at Rafael in time to see Rafael’s gaze shift over to Olivia’s.

“Yeah,” Rafael said softly. “That sounds great. Let’s split it.”

Once they all finished ordering, Sonny looked over at Rafael again. “So, Counselor. Iowa?”

Rafael chuckled. “Ah, yes. It was quite the adventure, _Counselor_.”

It really was inevitable. It was probably Rafael’s goal, anyway. 

Sonny blushed.

Amanda squeezed his knee in warning. 

“What exactly did you have to do there?” Amanda asked.

“It was alright,” Rafael smiled and launched into a discussion about the “absolute fucking chaos of primary voting that really makes you question the federal government.” He stayed positive throughout, though, noting that he genuinely didn’t mind it. “It was kind of nice to be doing something different for once.”

Their food came, and it was a welcome reprieve. They were running out of conversation topics that were neutral enough, and they didn’t want them to ask how they ended up together and when. To their relief, their meal continued, and the question still hadn’t come up.

“How long will you be in town, Barba?” Amanda asked around another few sips of wine.

“Just the weekend. But really, I don’t plan to be gone for long periods of time again. Just a little here and there as I’m needed. So I’ve been browsing new apartments.”

“Well it’s great to have you back,” Amanda smiled. _Was it, though? If this is the kind of situation Sonny would be putting them back into?_ She poured herself a little more wine.

Olivia beamed at Rafael. “It really is, Rafa.” Sonny smiled and nodded.

Rafael’s gaze didn’t leave Olivia’s. “So I can be a pain your ass again?” He said, but he looked back at her the same way she was looking at him.

Olivia put a hand on his arm and looked playfully disappointed.

“I’m kidding,” he said gently. “You know how happy I am to be back. To see you.” 

Amanda looked in between the two of them, who had apparently forgotten her and Sonny were also present. Amanda glanced down and then over at Sonny. He looked tense. She made a decision.

“I’m happy for y’all,” Amanda said, tone alarmingly closer to neutral than she intended. She smiled when they looked up at her.

“Sorry,” Olivia laughed nervously.

“No, no,” Amanda insisted. “I’m serious.”

Olivia smiled. 

Rafael changed the subject. “So, how was your first trial?” he asked, looking at Sonny.

“It was, uh, interesting,” Sonny said, glancing down with a perplexed look. 

“Yeah?” Rafael asked, curious. Sonny rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“He did, great, really,” Olivia jumped in, and Amanda agreed.

“Definitely,” she said, glancing softly at Sonny and putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Well,” Sonny laughed, then dove into some of the legalities of the trial.

Barba narrowed his eyes, looking interested. “Keep going,” he urged.

The two were well into legal talk for going on five minutes, and Amanda, well, honestly, she didn’t care all that much. She nodded when appropriate, but really, the conversation was mostly between the two men. Olivia chimed in occasionally, but Amanda didn’t care enough to speak up. She had lived it, and she hadn’t enjoyed the challenges then. She really didn’t care for them now. She felt herself struggling to pay attention.

She saw Olivia take a sip of her wine out of the corner of her eye and was momentarily distracted by the way her red-toned lips matched the smooth liquid. Her lipstick complemented the light silvery shade of polish on her nails.

Her gaze absent-mindedly tracked the movement of the glass being lowered back to the table. It brought Olivia’s chest into her line of vision.

She was but a human.

And she couldn’t deny that she liked what she saw. 

She suddenly caught herself, mentally berating herself for allowing such a risky slip-up. _Oh God._ She was just zoning out. It hadn’t meant anything. She was silently praying that Olivia hadn’t noticed as she glanced back up to Olivia’s face. 

Their gazes met.

_Oh, fuck._

Amanda tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, feeling genuinely horrified, and she quickly jarred her gaze away and toward Sonny. She could feel that her face was bright red, but neither Sonny nor Rafael looked over at her. She spent the next few moments desperately trying to will the flush away. She took a gulp of water.

Minutes passed where Amanda refused to look at Olivia, eyes practically boring holes into Rafael’s head. She held off her restless habits, convincing herself that she was just imagining Olivia’s eyes on her. Eventually, she chanced a look.

Olivia was already looking at her, a hint of smirk taking over her features. Amanda held back a gasp, but she couldn’t stop the split second that her eyes fell to Olivia’s red lips again. Was she imagining the tad bit Olivia’s smirk just grew?

Amanda placed a hand on Sonny’s thigh, and he turned.

“I’ll be right back,” she said softly, standing from the table and anxiously awaiting the cold water she was about to splash on her face in the restroom.

The second she turned to make her escape though, Olivia spoke, her tone sweet. “You okay, Amanda?”

When she turned back to face Olivia, Amanda felt her head swim. That was the first time she consciously felt the alcohol.

“Yeah,” Amanda smiled before turning away and walking toward the restroom, focusing as hard as could on walking straight.

Once she was content with the shade of her cheeks, Amanda walked back, hurrying as to not be gone too long. She sat back down with a relaxed smile and turned her focus back to Rafael.

“You were right,” Rafael smiled at Sonny. “That is an interesting case.”

“Missing it, Barba?” Amanda asked.

Barba cocked his head as if considering. “Maybe a bit.”

He looked thrilled to be back in it again, even if just listening. Maybe this wasn’t going so badly after all. For Sonny, that is.

“I’d be happy to share anytime you miss it too much,” Sonny responded.

“Thanks, Counselor. We should all do this again sometime. Yeah?” He glanced at Olivia and Amanda.

Amanda briefly glanced at Olivia before looking at Sonny. “Yeah,” she smiled, still nervous but hoping she sounded convincing.

“We’re in,” Sonny smiled, and Amanda staved off her inclination to kill him.


End file.
